If you can identify with the major indicators ,it is likely that you and your children are victims of a parental Obstacle, called MANIPULATION, PARENTAL ALIENATION etc…
At Filia we work to raise awareness and provide help to affected families.
Some symptoms can be confused with developmental stages
For example, due to introversion and/or a lack of communication, the child tends to isolate themselves from the family while at home, locking themselves away in their rooms and displaying a sense of rejection.
Examples of symptoms associated with a child are:
- Anger , misconduct, and/or lack of control of impulses
- Using Adult language
- Lying regularly
- Regressive behaviour (given their age)
- Speaking aggressively to a parent, and displaying no guilt
- Manipulation in their interactions
- Feelings of guilt and neglect
- Insecurity, anxiety and depression
- Poor school performance along with integration problems
- Spending too much time on the streets, taking on criminal behaviours and drug use
- Abandoning childhood friends
INDICATORS OF AN IMPEDIMENT OF PARENTAL RELATIONSHIPS
Indicators show evidence of the daily impediment of parental relationship in courts, This drives the child to reject one of the parents, in some cases for indefinite period. They are not able to correct the situation and bring back a sense of nomalcy due to non existing laws to proteft the child or the failure to adhere to the court instructions.
Here are examples of impediments:
- Preventing rights of access to the other spouse, claiming that the child’s fault for the denial of those rights
- Introducing a new partner as the new parent
- Forgeting to inform the other parent about medical exams or school activities,
- Making decisions without the other pouse consent
- Leaving the child with family or friends while on holidays and not with the other parent
- Taking the child away from the rest of the family
- Changing schools without consent
The Profile of the Hindering Parent is the same worldwide.
- Lack of EmpathyNarcissistic and arrogant caracteristics
- Absence of sadness regarding the situation
- Desire for revenge
- Avoiding collaboration in the exercise of parental activity
- Speaking of the other spouse in third person
- Justifying their actions
- Making the child responsible
- Using the child as witness in court
- Destroying the parental relationship without mercy is the aim, and taking revenge to the extreme
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS OF MOTHER OR FATHER VICTIM
- Profuse sweating
- Hair loss
- Gastric disorders
- Food disorders
- Sleep disorders
- Fibromyalgia/ contracture
- Skin allergies
- Heaviness in the chest
- Fatigue or loss of energy
PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS
- Feelings of abandonment and helplessness
- Feeling of slow death
- Deep sadness
- Shock at feelings of contempt
CONFLICT OF LOYALTIES
Every separation involves a reset for the parties involved. GRIEF brings Anguish on the members, in the Minors case there is a situation called “Loyalty Conflict”
- With which of my parents should l stay?
- Which one do l love more, Mum or Dad ?
- If l share things with one of them will the other get mad?
- Am l to blame for the situation?
These questions are in the mind of the child and can be aggravated if the parents cannot overcome differences and prioritize the child’s interest,. At times this leads to a triangular conflict where unconscious or perversely the child is damaged.
When a child is not able to express himself or herself, he/she is not well. We must go further and explain what we really want them to know.
Questions such as:
- What does he really want to tell me?
- When does he tell me?
- Has something taken place to cause this question ?
- How did l react?
- And the child?
- Was the answer good enough for him?
A child must never think he can become two separate people in order to be good enough to please Mother and Father.